I really do not like it when someone bullies me.
In the past I took it personally. Now I don’t allow the bully to have power over me.
You see when you choose “not” to let in opinions that hurt you, then you become bulletproof to criticism.
Read that line again.
Do you see the word, “CHOOSE”? It is your choice to let something in or not.
Pay attention! No one can ever make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO CHOOSE TO NOT LET IT IN.
Do you know that the most critical people are their own worst critics?
They are because they are expressing outwardly their own inner criticism, hurt and pain. The bully is “Hurting” so much on the inside, that they project what they live. They are getting hurt, bullied and made to feel they are not “Enough” by someone in their life, usually a parent. By understanding this, we can arm ourselves with the knowledge that it is not about “Me” it is about “them”.
Best-selling Author, Motivational Speaker and Leading Celebrity Therapist & Pioneering Hypnotherapist Trainer, Marisa Peer shares how simple truths can change your life.
Here are Marisa’s 5 things you can say to someone who tries to criticize you:
- “Thank you for sharing that.” If someone says something hurtful, you are acknowledging their opinion, dissipating any negative tension, but you don’t have to let it in or accept it.
- “I’m sorry I didn’t hear all of that, please can you repeat that slowly?” By asking them to repeat it and really think about what they are saying, they will often take it back or consider how it may come across.
- “Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Are you trying to make me feel bad about myself? Why would you say that?” If there’s a positive intention behind the criticism, by asking this you can understand the motivation behind it.
- “Well, that’s not going to work, I am not going to let that in.” Just like the Holy man, you don’t have to accept criticism, you can choose not to let it in. You cannot stop people criticizing, but you can change the way it affects you.
- “While we are sharing, did you know that critical people have the most criticism reserved for themselves? They don’t like themselves, they are their own worst critic. Your outer projections reveal a lot about what’s going on inside.” It’s empowering to know that it’s their issues and not yours.