90 Second Rule

When you feel an emotion rising up in you, is it coming from an outside source or your own thoughts?

One thing I tell myself and those I counsel is to truly feel the feeling that you are feeling for only 90 seconds.

Truly feel joy, happiness, anger, sadness, whatever emotion shows up. “FEEL IT.” After 90 seconds, you are no longer feeling the emotion because of an emotional response; you are now creating that feeling from your thoughts and beliefs.

Stop!!!

Don’t stay caught up in the emotional loop.

That is how you live in the known past or the predictable future.

Live in the now.

Feel the emotion of “NOW”!

Not what has happened or what could happen.

The only true reality is the present moment.

The present moment is the reality that we need to base our emotional well-being on.

“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment,” she says, “there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
“Something happens in the external world, and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body, it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away.”
“After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological reaction, over and over again.”–Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

Break the Emotional Loop

1)Identify the Emotional Response:

How does it feel?

Does it have a color, shape, or size?

Where in your body do you feel this response?

2) Label/ Name the Emotion

Emotions are Intense: joy, Fear, Anger, Enthusiasm, and Attraction. In simple terms, ask yourself: Do I feel mad, sad, glad, afraid, or ashamed?

3) Feel the Feeling

Feelings like happiness, worry, contentment, bitterness, and love are all side effects of the more intense emotions of joy, fear, anger, enthusiasm, and attraction.

Allow the emotion to happen without judgment for 90 seconds. Feel the feeling fully for 90 seconds, then release it.

Let it Go!